Depression and Anxiety Sucks!
We've all had our bad days...but does everybody have bad weeks....months? I guess so. I feel like an ant trying to store food during a blizzard, or a salmon trying to swim up the river. Maybe a bad analogy, but I seem to have lost my zeal for life.
I wasn't feeling well tonight and with a huge paper due in the morning, I decided to go to the pharmacy for a thermometer because I was having hot and cold flashes. About 30 minutes before I left I was feeling dizzy, knowing that I run a blood sugar in the low 40's at night, I ate a tangerine thinking it would bounce back up in a few minutes and I would feel fine. This never happened though, I started feeling nauseated and my mouth started watering like I was going to vomit. I drank a glass of water and hurried over to the pharmacy to get that thermometer before my symptoms worsened and I was unable to drive (truthfully I had probably already hit that point). When I get to the pharmacy desk to be sure that I'm buying a quality and reliable thermometer, the Pharmacist asks the dreaded question..."Are you okay?" Unfortunately for him, I wasn't and I started bawling immediately. Without going into details about the specifics of my life but sticking more to the symptoms that I was feeling, I proceeded to tell him what was wrong and that I have been sleeping for 12-15 hours per night. With a shocked look on his face, he politely tells me that I should see a doctor soon to get my anxiety and depression under control. I know that I'm crazy...I don't need to pay money for someone to tell me that! I also don't want to subject myself to anti-depressants which have some rather foul side-effects, nor do I want to admit that I have and/or treat my likely Diabetes. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, currently and several times in the past few weeks, the signs of an anxiety attack, and have (for at least 4 or 5 years) the symptoms of Hypoglycemia...and with my diet now, quickly moving into Diabetes. To say the least, I feel terrible, both physically and mentally. I guess sometimes it just helps to say it all out loud.
Sorry that you all, all two of you that read this, had to temporarily feel my "pain" but take it lightly and don't let it ruin your day. Hope you all are doing much better than I am. Have a good day and like Mary Kay always says, "Fake it 'til you make it!" If I pretend to smile I will eventually feel better and it will become a real smile. So help me out and share smiles with the people around you, maybe I can feel some of your happiness through smiling-osmosis!
Why do salmon swim up the river? Don't they know they won't make it? I guess they are a little more glass-half-full than I am right now.
I wasn't feeling well tonight and with a huge paper due in the morning, I decided to go to the pharmacy for a thermometer because I was having hot and cold flashes. About 30 minutes before I left I was feeling dizzy, knowing that I run a blood sugar in the low 40's at night, I ate a tangerine thinking it would bounce back up in a few minutes and I would feel fine. This never happened though, I started feeling nauseated and my mouth started watering like I was going to vomit. I drank a glass of water and hurried over to the pharmacy to get that thermometer before my symptoms worsened and I was unable to drive (truthfully I had probably already hit that point). When I get to the pharmacy desk to be sure that I'm buying a quality and reliable thermometer, the Pharmacist asks the dreaded question..."Are you okay?" Unfortunately for him, I wasn't and I started bawling immediately. Without going into details about the specifics of my life but sticking more to the symptoms that I was feeling, I proceeded to tell him what was wrong and that I have been sleeping for 12-15 hours per night. With a shocked look on his face, he politely tells me that I should see a doctor soon to get my anxiety and depression under control. I know that I'm crazy...I don't need to pay money for someone to tell me that! I also don't want to subject myself to anti-depressants which have some rather foul side-effects, nor do I want to admit that I have and/or treat my likely Diabetes. I have all the classic symptoms of depression, currently and several times in the past few weeks, the signs of an anxiety attack, and have (for at least 4 or 5 years) the symptoms of Hypoglycemia...and with my diet now, quickly moving into Diabetes. To say the least, I feel terrible, both physically and mentally. I guess sometimes it just helps to say it all out loud.
Sorry that you all, all two of you that read this, had to temporarily feel my "pain" but take it lightly and don't let it ruin your day. Hope you all are doing much better than I am. Have a good day and like Mary Kay always says, "Fake it 'til you make it!" If I pretend to smile I will eventually feel better and it will become a real smile. So help me out and share smiles with the people around you, maybe I can feel some of your happiness through smiling-osmosis!
Why do salmon swim up the river? Don't they know they won't make it? I guess they are a little more glass-half-full than I am right now.
posted by X's and O's @ 12:48 AM
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